It's unlikely to sound surprising but studies have shown that children who have alcoholic parents will grow up to suffer deep-seated emotional and behavioural damage.
Anybody who has lived with an alcoholic parent or even parents will know what a rollercoaster life at home can be. As the alcoholic seeks to point the finger of blame at someone, anyone, children can find themselves being blamed for the problem; their home life is filled with conflict, chaos, bewilderment and embarrassment. And it's not just arguments and disorder these children have to deal with, it's a fact that incidences of abuse, both mental and physical, are much higher in homes where booze is a problem.
Alcohol Abuse Study
Priory Healthcare, famous for its celebrity rehab admissions, recently conducted a survey of abuse in alcoholic homes. The centre consulted its own doctors and therapists to complete the report, but also incorporated independent figures on crime, abuse and alcoholism to complete the picture.
55% of domestic violence cases come from alcoholic homes, and 90% of child abuse cases involved alcoholism or alcohol abuse in the home. The study also revealed that that girls based in an alcoholic home were up to four times more likely to suffer sexual abuse.
Research as part of the report also discovered that 70% of those children with alcoholism in their homes later developed compulsive behavioural problems themselves, including addictions to alcohol, gambling, drugs, sex and food - and something like 50% went on to marry or live with alcoholics or alcohol abusers when they grew up.
Sadly too, children of alcoholics are four times more likely to become alcoholics themselves, due in part perhaps to genetics, but also because of learnt behaviour and repeating childhood patterns.
How Do Children React to Drink?
Children very often react in one of three different ways, and they will generally carry these coping mechanisms into their adult years.
The first way is to become quiet, withdrawn and to internalise the unhappiness they are feeling. The second way is to live in denial of the problem, pretending it doesn't exist and denying any problem to any well-meaning enquiries.
Thirdly, they may then go on to use their background to make themselves stronger. But overall, any of these coping strategies will be an outward presentation. Generally though, children of alcoholics will be insecure, vulnerable and anxious, and often find it hard to be successful or develop close personal relationships.
Is your Parent An Alcoholic?
Alcoholism is a family disease - this is a phrase often repeated but it's very true. It affects everyone in the home - when things are good, everyone is fine, when things are bad, the whole house is affected.
If you live with this rollercoaster, you will understand it completely. Coming home from school or work is a journey of trepidation - what is waiting at home? Nights can be scary, lying bed listening to arguments or violence, or worse, fearing for your own safety. And what about getting dinner and a clean school uniform? Children of alcoholics often assume the role of carer, particularly looking after younger siblings.
Children also find themselves assuming responsibility for the alcohol problem, imagining that if they were to do something differently that they could change things, perhaps even that it's their fault simply for being born. They struggle to understand how a parent can seemingly love them so little, that their desire for drinking is more important than they are.
Don't Take it Personally
Remember that alcoholism is a disease that the sufferer cannot help. The best thing a child can do is to perhaps talk to a teacher or a friend's mum or dad, and look out too for support groups that can help children too. Getting some outside support is the best way to help them cope.
Your email won't be published. Comments are moderated before appearing.